Horizontal Relationships: The Coming Evolution

Horizontal Relationships: The Coming Evolution

In a world that has long been shaped by vertical structures, where hierarchy reigns supreme, there is a growing movement towards fostering horizontal relationships. Horizontal relationships stand in stark contrast to the traditional top-down dynamics, emphasizing equality, collaboration, and shared decision-making. This blog explores the essence of horizontal relationships, delving into their significance, benefits, and how they contribute to a more inclusive and innovative society.

Understanding Horizontal Relationships:

Horizontal relationships, also known as peer-to-peer relationships, prioritize equality among individuals rather than adhering to hierarchical norms. Unlike vertical relationships, where power and authority flow from the top down, horizontal relationships encourage collaboration on an equal footing. This approach recognizes and values the unique contributions of each participant, fostering an environment where everyone's voice is heard and respected.

Benefits of Horizontal Relationships:

1. Empowerment: Horizontal relationships empower individuals by giving them a sense of ownership and agency. Everyone is encouraged to take an active role in decision-making processes, leading to increased engagement and motivation.

2. Innovation: Collaboration thrives in horizontal relationships, leading to a fertile ground for innovation. When diverse perspectives come together, creative solutions emerge, driving progress and adaptability in various spheres of life, from the workplace to community projects.

3. Mutual Respect: In horizontal relationships, mutual respect is a foundational principle. By acknowledging the value each person brings to the table, these relationships promote a culture of appreciation and understanding.

4. Increased Productivity: When individuals feel valued and empowered, they are more likely to contribute their best efforts. This heightened sense of commitment and motivation often results in increased productivity.

5. Adaptability: Horizontal relationships are inherently flexible and adaptable. They can more effectively respond to changing circumstances and challenges, as decision-making is distributed and collective.

Implementing Horizontal Relationships:

1. Open Communication: Foster a culture of open and honest communication. Encourage individuals to express their thoughts and ideas freely, creating an environment where dialogue is valued.

2. Shared Decision-Making: Involve all stakeholders in the decision-making process. Whether in a professional setting or within a community, shared decision-making ensures that everyone has a say in shaping the outcomes.

3. Cultivate Trust: Trust is the bedrock of horizontal relationships. Building trust requires transparency, reliability, and a commitment to the common goals and values that bind individuals together.

4. Celebrate Diversity: Embrace diversity of thought, background, and experience. Recognize the strength that comes from a variety of perspectives and encourage inclusivity in all aspects of the relationship.

Horizontal relationships represent a paradigm shift towards a more equitable and interconnected world. As we strive for progress in various domains, embracing horizontal relationships can be a transformative force. By valuing each individual's contributions and fostering collaboration, we create a foundation for a society that thrives on equality, innovation, and mutual respect. It's time to reimagine our relationships, break free from hierarchical constraints, and build a future where the power of equality propels us forward.

Life Happens. What’s Important Now?

What do you VALUE most? ______________________________________________________.

Ex: Being an amazing mom, a caring business owner, a present dad, respected in my community

1. Define what SUCCESS looks like for you

2. Set GOALS accordingly 

3. Form HABITS around the goals

CONCRETE vs. FLUID

• Business gives us concrete, tangible results with short-term feedback.

• Business growth is applauded with measurable reward.  You’ll hear... “I’m doing it for us!”

• Home gives more fluid, ambiguous results with long-term feedback.

• Home success can be less measurable and controllable.  You’ll hear… “I’m not sure what I accomplished today!”

HUNTING (Short-term): immediate reward

FARMING (Long-term): slower reward

How do we VALUE the long-term?

1. Be present. Let your mind be here now.

2. What is in front of me? Be where your feet are! Kids help by grabbing your face :)

3. Appreciate. Embrace the seasons, they don’t last forever, look at your kids like grandparents

Be aware of your PACE…

• We become addicted to the chaos. We have been trained to not be OK with silence.

• “We will get to it when things slow down.” Almost never true but it feels good to say :)

• It’s ok to STOP an activity, maybe not FOREVER but for now (ex: social media, food, spending, etc.)

• SEASONS - It’s ok to say, “This isn’t the right season for us.” It is empowering.

• Avoid the all or nothing mindset - Simple DAILY HABITS will get you there.

  Example: Going to Disney vs. Putting your kids to bed each night

SMALL things done behind the scenes become BIG things.

The Power of CHOICE…

• Because I said no, I got to do this  __________________________.

• Do the Right things at the Right time.  

• Be aware of the HERO COMPLEX - “I am here to save the day! If I don’t do it, who will!?!”

• Use the following questions as a FILTER:

1. Is this worth doing?

2. Do I want to do this?

3. Am I doing this out of guilt?

 PRESENT & PRODUCTIVE

At Home - We think about WORK.

At Work - We think about HOME.

Check out this Simple Tool for being Present & Productive!

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Here is an example of a habit that has helped me be more PRESENT at Home…

When I get home from work, I place my phone down on the charger in my office, and don’t pick it up until after the kids go to bed.  When I’m going to bed I put it back into the office; this allows me to be fully present without distraction...at least from my phone :) 

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For a Deeper look: 

• EntreLeadership Episode with Christy Wright (notes taken from this episode)

• Choosing to Cheat

• The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry

• Essentialism

Interview with John Maxwell

“Growth is not automatic. We assume we will get better, but on accident, we only get older. “

John Maxwell turned 73 this year. Thanks to his books, interviews and public speaking, he’s been teaching me for the last 20 years. His recent interview with EntreLeadership packed so much wisdom into an hour, I had to share some insights in long form. It all started with a Personal Growth Plan.

On PERSONAL GROWTH…

• No matter what age or experience, always have a teachable spirit. I want to grow until I die. Intentionally be around growing people.

• All of my WRITING is birthed out of my GROWING.

• Growth creates an awareness that there is so much more to learn.

• We lead others as we lead ourselves. Because my ceiling or finish line is unlimited, that’s how I lead others.

• Learning lunches - ask people who are ahead of you great questions.

• Influential leaders ask great questions; immature leaders only give direction.

• Everyone can teach us, our responsibility is to get that knowledge out of another.

“I stopped asking how LONG will it take and started asking, how FAR can I go?”

On CORPORATE GROWTH…

• You teach what you KNOW but you reproduce who you ARE.

• Stop teaching and start learning… together.

• “I’m going to mentor you” is the wrong approach. People do what people see.

• Get two books instead of one and sit beside the leader and grow together. Ask for accountability in your growth.

• The leadership training works when the corporate leaders come to the leadership training.

• “You need to take this course” is the wrong approach. A leader must submit themselves to the process of growth. Be willing to learn WITH your team.

• Know your team. Don’t assume you know what your team is thinking… ask questions… what do you love? what would you change? do you have any feedback?

On the CYCLE of SUCCESS…

• TESTING - always be testing, and trying new things

• FAILING - if you test a lot, you will fail a lot (1 test: 1 failure | 100 tests: 70 failures)

• LEARNING - the value of failure is learning, bad experience? what did you learn?

• IMPROVING - fix it, you can’t fix what you don’t test

• RE-ENTERING - after you improve, get back in the game

• BACK to TESTING - the cycle continues

On SELF-AWARENESS…

• It’s difficult to be self-aware on your own. ASK those around you.

• Share your weaknesses with your team (they know them already).

• Self-awareness is the result of a secure person asking others about his or her weaknesses.

• You can’t IMPROVE what you don’t know about.

• One of the greatest gifts a leader can give is self-awareness, holding up a mirror for your team, to help them see the truth.

• Learn to be honest when an opportunity doesn’t fit your strengths.

On CONSISTENCY…

At 73, compounding interest is exploding, if I quit now, I miss a huge return! When we can afford to quit, we can’t afford to quit. If you are going to quit, quit the first year!

• Consistency compounds over time… consistency in your strengths.

• Consistency in a weakness will reap compound frustration.

• All my life I've worked on becoming an overnight success.

• Consistency is not sexy but is the secret ingredient to success.

• The return for consistency is on the backend - it takes patience.

• How did you right 83 books? One word at a time. First page, first book,

Consistency

John shares an illustration of a boulder that breaks in pieces after hitting it 848 times. Every time you hit the rock you get closer but you didn’t get any reward until the 848th hit. We aren’t as good as everyone thinks we are on the 848th hit but we aren’t as bad as we looked on the first hit! Don’t get discouraged by the fact that another person’s boulder broke apart; your turn is coming as you are consistent in the right things!

What would 73 year old John say to 25 year old John?

1. Put yourself on a personal growth plan and stay with it

2. Don’t separate failure and success (fear of failure will keep you from testing)

3. Every day add value to someone! (if you sit down with me, you will grow)

Give 60, take 40. Don’t keep score, add value and give more than you expect to receive. It’s not about the harvest we only reap because of the seeds we sew. Keep sewing! Focus on sewing seeds, the harvest will take care of itself.

We know people who are already dead, but they are still walking around. You will GO as far as you can GROW but no further. Live in alignment with your message.

Listen to the entire Podcast here.